So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
