I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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