I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I can't put those talents on a resume
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
