Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
