After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
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