apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
