all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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