Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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