Grow some girl-balls and come out already
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Is Oprah even human
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
