escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
