i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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