sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
my shit smells like andre
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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