haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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