idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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