Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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