He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize
