Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
