Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Hippo gnu deer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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