We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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