Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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