Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
it was like eating out sand paper
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
