I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
