Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
