I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
