I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
