I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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