Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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