Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
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