it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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