i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize