garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
