forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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