just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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