Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
