do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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