i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
