So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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