Where is the hickey?
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Randomize
