I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
