I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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