hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
