Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
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I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
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Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
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