I murdered the dance floor call the cops
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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