god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
