Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
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I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
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How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
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