she was so not down for the gang bang
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
