I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
