Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
