i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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