I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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