You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Randomize
