I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
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