the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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