Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
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