sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
