how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Green mimosas i think yes
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Randomize
