One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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