She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
