So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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