I'm really into asian looking animals
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
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