If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
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