i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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