I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
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i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I lost the right to judge tonight
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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