Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
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Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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